No pictures or recipes here- just a quick update on my juice fast, my day, and everything that falls between them. Let’s be honest here: today I felt like CRAP. Truly awful- exhausted, dizzy, and craving all kinds of food. Among other things, I wanted: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a nice, crunchy apple, stir-fry, sesame soba salad, cupcakes, and chocolate. I spent the greater part of my day sipping juice, silkscreening, and thinking about FOOD. I was feeling overwhelmingly light-headed during class and had to leave to sit in the hallway with my head between my knees.
I almost broke. It took an immense amount of restraint not to go running up to the cafeteria on my break and scarf down a grilled veggie sandwich. But I didn’t. I held my ground, stuck with the fast, and boy, do I feel better for it. There is definitely a satisfaction here. The self control I am able to exhibit is reassuring- it tells me that I can push myself when I need to, that I can do things that are really really difficult. It makes me feel strong. All the food in the world is waiting for me at the end of this fast- giant salads buried under a mountain of veggies, kabobs fresh off the grill, gooey cashew butter sandwiches on quinoa bread. I can’t and won’t fast forever, and so having the discipline and the patience to simply wait this fast out becomes a bit more achievable, once I realize that all of the things I want are waiting for me on the other side.
I am looking forward to looser pants. To feeling better about myself. To being able to move my body the way I want to. To throwing on any old thing and still looking like I give a damn. To achieving more in my yoga practice. To running faster and farther. To have even more energy to expend with Jack and Carolyn. These are all things within my reach, but I have to pursue them.
Speaking of pursuing, I am car shopping like a maniac! The Subaru finally met its match in the form of a busted radiator/worn out tie rod, and rather than pouring more money into it, we’re hunting for a replacement. I’m actually sad about it- I loved my car, but after missing class last Wednesday and dealing with continuous breakdowns all weekend, I came to terms with the fact that it just doesn’t have much more in it without a serious financial investment. So we’re exploring other options (read: Muranos and Rogues). I’m really just looking for something reliable, that will last me a good while and get me around safely. Fingers crossed that the magic happens this weekend!
I spent most of today looking forward to opening the package that landed on my doorstep at 2:10 this afternoon. Lululemon can right any wrong. Now I am off for a much-needed shower (tmi?) and cranking out a quick poem before sleep overtakes me. Yoga tomorrow bright and early, followed by the back-and-forth dance between Hamilton and Bucks. Gotta love Wednesdays!